Lately, I’ve been revisiting one of those novels of mine
that I thought was finished but really isn’t. Editors want to see much more of
the main female character.
Okay, I thought. I’ll change Sophie (that’s her name) from
third- to first-person. Simple enough.
Not really.
I began by altering the pronouns. Then a funny thing
happened. I found that, in doing so, I would necessarily have to add more glue
to her character, mostly by allowing her to express directly how she feels
about things.
I worked my way through three of her chapters and was generally
pleased with how she was emerging. I’d already provided her with an interesting
history, and I was enjoying the opportunity to explore her past more fully.
She was born in one of the Baltic countries before the fall
of the Soviet Union, and her family immigrated to the United States in the
mid-nineties, after the Russians left. That means she has an outsider’s vision
of American culture and ideas, a strand that wasn’t nearly as significant from
an observer’s point-of-view as it is when Sophie tells it in her own way.
I like that.
But other problems arose. For instance, what is her
relationship to the story she’s telling? Is she in the present moment of the
narrative, say, just being born in her earliest chapter or a child of eight in the
next? Or is she an adult looking back?
I opted for the second choice. Then another issue presented
itself.
Why exactly is she mulling over her life in such detail,
writing what amounts to an autobiography at twenty-six, her (relatively young) age
at the end of the novel?
I figured that one out, too. There’s nothing like a failed
relationship, which occurs fairly late in the book, to prompt her to reexamine her
motivations and behavior.
Then I went back to the beginning. Readers opening the first
page won’t yet know who Sophie is or why she’s writing about herself. Should I
tell them immediately or let them discover the reason as they work their way
through her story and the story of the man she ends up marrying?
Once again, I opted for the second choice. Is this the best
way? The right decision? Darned if I know.
As a writer, I believe it’s my job not to confuse anyone deliberately.
But what if being perfectly clear gives away too much at the start and
diminishes the curiosity that hopefully keeps readers going? On the other hand,
what if the first few pages are so obscure that those very same readers put the
book back on the shelf or discard the sample on their Kindles without bothering
to download the rest?
I wish I had a formula for the right balance here.
Unfortunately, I don’t.
What did I learn about point-of-view—or more accurately
relearn—while figuring out ways to bring Sophie more to life? Just this: “says
who” isn’t a simple matter of pronouns. The difference between “she” and “I” is
vast and changes not only how the story gets told, but finally what it is all about.
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